New Year’s Resolutions

People generally make three types of New Years Resolutions:
– Social (“I’m not going to spend Friday nights marathoning Supernatural again this year”)
– Moral (“I’m going to be a better person”)
– Health (“I’m going to start going to the gym”)

The health resolutions pretty much always fall into one of two categories
– Begin a new habit (going to the gym, eating healthier, etc)
– Ceasing a bad habit (stop smoking, stop eating junk food, etc)

The dangers, however, with setting New Years Resolutions is that most people set incredibly vague goals.  When people talk about getting healthier, they’ll decide “I’m going to start eating better” or “I’m going to start going to the gym”.  Okay, cool.  That’s great.

Define ‘eating better’.

If I switch from eating pizza every night to hamburgers, is that eating better?  What if I trade that pizza for salads exclusively?  Does that mean cutting a meal, or eating six small meals instead of three big ones?  Does that mean less red meat or no meat at all?  Technically, just eating a plain doughnut instead of a chocolate-filled one is already eating better.

And define ‘going to the gym’.  Are you going to start doing cardio or lifting weights?  Are you going to take dance classes or attending power lifting seminars?  Are you going to train like a bodybuilder or a strongman?  Are you going to go to the gym three times a week or six times a week?

The trick to setting achievable goals is that they need to be specific.  Set too vague of a goal and you’ll never achieve it, no matter how much progress you make.  There is no diet upon this earth that cannot be made more healthy somehow.  And it doesn’t matter how many times you go to the gym, there will be a training protocol that will necessitate going even more.

To quote the incomparable Yogi Berra, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might not get there”.

If you want to set New Years Resolutions, that’s great.  Go for it.  But set something specific and manageable.
Instead of ‘I’m going to eat healthy’, go with ‘I’m going to follow this specific diet (whatever diet it might be)’.
Instead of ‘I’m going to start going to the gym’, go with ‘I’m going to go to the gym three times a week’ or ‘I’m going to follow this specific program’.  I can even make a few suggestions.

If you want to be ambitious and totally overhaul your life, or make powerful changes, that’s fine too.   But make sure you break it down into small steps that you can manage.  Instead of ‘I’m going to quit smoking’, go with ‘I’m going to cut back on my smoking one cigarette at a time until I stop entirely’ (if you smoke 12 cigarettes a day, cut back to 11 cigarettes for January, 10 cigarettes in February, 9 in March, etc etc).  Instead of ‘I’m going to eat health’ or even ‘I’m going to follow this specific diet’, go with ‘I’m going to follow this specific diet for breakfast only in January, then add lunch in March, dinner in May, etc).

A definitive goal and manageable steps make absolutely any ambition achievable with time.  Don’t try to change your life in one go, on one day.  Even if you take only one step a week towards your goals, that’s over fifty steps by the end of one year.

So Happy New Year! 🙂

Girls Toys

About a week ago, this happened.  Paul Dini, the man responsible for some of the best cartoons and animated series in the past two decades, talked with Kevin Smith about why Cartoon Network canceled some of their shows.  In the interview (which is well worth listening to in its entirety), Dini states “[TV execs] do not want girls watching this show” because “girls won’t buy toys”.  The crux of his belief for why his – and many other popular shows – were canceled is because the female viewing audience had grown too high for the TV execs to tolerate.  The reason why female viewers was bad was attribute to girls’ disinterest in toys.

This is troubling for almost more reasons than I can count, but I want to tackle at least a few of these reasons today.  Since this is such a staggeringly awful world view, I want to throw out a few topics to discuss at another time.  For starters, let’s just dismiss sexism.  Is this a sexist view of things?  Abso-goddamn-lutely.  It is blatant, rank sexism to assume that girls in a large enough demographic to be an economic force won’t be interested in the merchandise for a show they enjoy.  It is blatant sexism to just assume by virtue of their gender that girls simply will not have any interest in the toys of a show they clearly love a great deal.
I won’t be addressing that aspect of things – the sexism – because A) oh my god, there it is, it’s RIGHT THERE and B) there are plenty of other people online and in the media who already doing an excellent job addressing that.  Since I feel like that corner of this topic is being adequately (and deservedly) addressed, I want to take a few other lesser but still important points to task.

The justification for the cancellation of these shows is just the absolute laziest excuse for creative corruptness ever.  The preconceived insistence that an existing audience will not buy pre-made merchandise and therefore the audience must be disbanded is as patently selfish as it is short-sighted.  It is putting your work ahead of the fans; it is insisting the fans buy what you make, not for you to make what the fans want to buy.  It is professional laziness of the most deplorable sort.

First off, there is not one great success story in marketing and business that doesn’t involve reaching an unexpected demographic.  From Nike’s realization that ‘women like sports too, maybe we should make women’s sneakers as well’ to the success of the Wii (and its ‘non-gamer’-friendly games), every marketing professional wants to be the one that bridges some kind of a gap and reaches out to a previously untapped demographic.
There’s a legend in marketing and advertising about how GI Joes came into being.  The story goes that Merrill Hassenfeld (of Hassenfeld Brothers, aka Hasbro) entered into a bet with his wife that he could not sell ‘dolls to boys’.  At the time (the 1960s), it was conventional wisdom that boys did not play with dolls, so Hasbro simply rechristened them ‘action figures’.  I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that ‘action figures’ have been one of the single biggest driving forces in children’s entertainment ever since.
Finding yourself with a demographic you didn’t expect (much like Cartoon Network did with a whole cadre of their shows) isn’t a problem: it’s an outstanding success!  That isn’t a failure; it’s a dream come true!  Refusal to see that is refusal to understand even the most basic elements of marketing and merchandising success.

Secondly, if the show’s success hinges on the selling of toys, then the goal is to sell toys.  You cannot refuse to sell toys.  If you have an interested demographic (and they did, based on the viewership numbers), they WILL buy merchandise connected to their favorite shows…if they think said merchandise is worthwhile.  So if they aren’t buying merchandise that’s being made, the problem isn’t with the audience; it’s with the merchandise.  They are obviously fans of the franchise and a century of capitalism has proven that they will spend money on what they like.  Maybe the reason the action figures weren’t moving isn’t because girls don’t like action figures; it’s because the action figures were shoddy or overpriced.

And lastly, there is a larger issue at play here: the purpose of TV shows is not to ‘sell merchandise’.  That may seem like a strange thing to say, coming from a die-hard Transformers fan, but the truth is that TV shows that are just commercials for the toys rarely – if ever – last more than one season.
TV shows that are closely connected to merchandise exist to generate interest in the franchise and there is a distinct difference between generating interesting a franchise and shilling toys.  The show cannot exist solely as a commercial for the toys.  It must be able to stand on its own rights and virtues as an independent (though connected) artistic venture.  To make the shows fundamentally subservient to a different art form (toys, in this case) is to thoroughly undercut if not completely undermine the medium.
What this means is that cancelling the show because the toys weren’t selling – or worse, because there was fear the toys might not sell – is the work of artistic cowardice.  The idea that the show has no reason to exist except to move merchandise is artistically bankrupt, and it destroys whatever possible credibility the show and the network might want to retain.

In this day and age, memories are long.  Firefly’s been off the air for well over a decade, and yet it continues to be a topic of discussion at conventions and on forums, keeping pace with long-enduring franchises like Star Wars and Star Trek.  Forgotten kids shows are no different. The Mysterious Cities of Gold has been off the air for three decades and yet there was a new video game released for it on Steam.
Shows connected to enduring franchises, like those Cartoon Network just canceled which are connected to DC Comics, will be long remembered indeed.  And those who remember the heartbreak of their favorite shows being canceled will remember this when Cartoon Network tries to woo them back with future shows.  This short-sightedness – rooted in blatant and deplorable sexism – that girls simply won’t buy the toys already made for these shows is as troubling as it is fundamentally wrong.

Tools of the Imagination — Starscream (War Within)

Starscream
Transformers War Within Titanium Heroes toyline, by Hasbro, released 2007

The Original Backstabber In His Original Form

In the beginning, Hasbro made their Transformers toys using die-cast steel.  And it was good.  Then, they moved to the cheaper and more manageable plastic.  And it was…meh.  And then, on a glorious day, they released a Transformers line based around using the beloved die-cast construction.  And it was good.  Very, very good.
For the four of you who aren’t familiar with the background of the Transformers (and I am referring to the animated series, not the live-action movies; the live-action movies are generally regarded as, at best, really ambitious fan fiction, with all the preferences and prejudices that go along with that designation), the Autobots and Decepticons were damaged in their crash landing onto Earth and were given the forms of earth vehicles (jets, cars, trucks, etc).  But in the first episode of the animated series, ‘More Than Meets The Eye’, we got a glimpse of a few of the Cybertronian forms that they original held, forms there were quite appropriately alien.

Probably none of these forms has been more popular than the ‘flying pyramids’ (formally called ‘Tetrajets’) that would become the Decepticon jets (formally called ‘Seekers’).  And there is probably no Decepticon, jet or otherwise, more notorious than Starscream.  The eternal opportunist, Starscream’s propensity to run his mouth is rivaled only by either his cowardice or his ability to back up his smack-talking (his abilities varied WIDELY from episode to episode in the animated series).  However, given that he openly and frequently told his superior (Megatron) about he was going to usurp power from him – and still lived to tell about it – it’s considered canon that he could backup his smack more often than not.

Starscream has been a perennial favorite, arguably as popular as any other character with the exception of Optimus Prime, and has been a prominent figure in just about every incarnation of the series.  So when the fans had a chance to get a die-cast toy of him in his original Cybertronian form, well, that was just too good to pass up.
Appearance – 2 out of 5
This a visually compelling piece, no doubt about it, but it’s not entirely sure what it’s supposed to be.  Both the robot form and the vehicle form look very little like figure from the show or even like other incarnations of the character.  Really, all we have to go on in knowing this is Starscream is the color scheme.  Likewise, the vehicle mode is especially problematic because, not only does it not look like the flying pyramids from the show, aside from a vague triangular shape in general, it doesn’t even look all that much like a pyramid of any kind.

On top of that, I have one personal complaint and that is the toy’s face.  While the head is nicely detailed and well-sculpted…it just doesn’t look like Starscream.  It looks…I don’t know, like Starscream’s inbred twin brother or something.

Construction – 5 out of 5
The toy is very well put together and, since it’s die-cast, it’s pretty much the very definition of tough.  Seriously, you could sharpen this toy into a knife if you wanted, and if you continued to call it Starscream, it would be the awesomest knife ever.  In all honesty, this toy is practically the yardstick of durability and ruggedness.  It does have a critical flaw, however, which is discussed below.

Movement – 3 out of 5
Scoring the movement category is a little tricky because while the toy is overall quite mobile (elbow and shoulder joints, rotating wrists, hip, knee, leg, and toe joints; hell, even the head turns), the joints don’t really feel too sturdy.  This is because while the toy is constructed of mostly die-cast, some parts (namely the joints) are necessarily made of plastic.  The problem with this is that the plastic is not nearly as strong as the metal and its there that we learn an ugly little truth about mecha in real life.  In order for the joints to support the weight of the limbs, they have to be remarkably strong (read: rigid).  This means that in order to move the joint, a great deal of strength has to be used (read: force).  And that amount of force means that you constantly feel like you could snap a limb off at any time.

Extras – 1 out of 5
The toy comes with a small stand that is identical to every other toy in the series, save for the nameplate that’s unique to each figure. Other than that, there’s nothing.  No clip-on weapons, no handheld weapons (since the hands are closed fists, that probably goes without saying), nothing.

Packaging – 4 out of 5
The packaging for this entire toy line was very well done.  It emphasized the die-cast element and gave us a quick bio for the character.  Franchise and narrative history was lacking, meaning that this toy was clearly meant for collectors and long-time fans, but that does little to detract from the packaging.  Each package as distinctive and it was quite obvious even without seeing the figure inside to tell whom it was that resided within.

 

Overall – 3 out of 5
This is a really nice toy that is very sturdy, tactilely very satisfying, and is overall just a beautiful product.  Sadly, it only passingly looks like Starscream or a Tetrajet.  The joint strength is also a real problem.  Still, this is a nice toy for fans but they’re about the only ones who will have an interest in it.